So BJ Johnson recently tweeted a picture, which has since been retweeted like crazy because this is how news spreads, giving fans their first look at guys like Kaleb Joseph and Chris McCullough in their Syracuse uniforms alongside Chino Obokoh, Johnson, and DaJuan Coleman. But it’s time for some real talk here, folks. We need to talk about DaJuan Coleman’s shoes because, seriously, what’s up with this?
Most people would probably look at this picture and get increasingly excited to see so much length, athleticism, and talent on display, as well as seeing Coleman back in uniform after battling injuries and hopefully working his way back to being a contributor this year. We could talk about how awesome it would be to see Coleman come back 100% healthy and get an opportunity to live up to his promise as a 6-foot-9 wide body with a knack for snagging rebounds and better than average moves in the post.
We could talk about Kaleb Joseph, the soon-to-be starting point guard flashing a smile reminiscent of Scoop Jardine, or we could talk about the fact that BJ Johnson has apparently sprouted to about 8-feet tall, which would no doubt get Jon Rothstein salivating. We haven’t even mentioned McCullough, who looks primed to step out on the court and dominate right now, or Obokoh, who is putting on a serious flex to, apparently, let us know he’s got his tickets to the gun show and the year off did wonders for him, physically.
But we need to talk about the one elephant in the room. We need to talk about DaJuan Coleman’s shoes.
What the hell is going on with those shoes, DaJuan? Rumors have been swirling around the Otto’s Grove offices for a few hours about what the shit is happening here, with the likeliest theories being that DaJuan got lost in Finish Line and found himself buying a pair of women’s sneakers, or that he got lost and wound up on the battlefield of an epic paint ball match and his shoes took the brunt of the assault. Sure, one does want a hint of color, but you certainly don’t need all of the colors, DaJuan.
DaJuan, my dude, it’s good to see you back in uniform. You’re looking fit and ready to roll. But take a note from your new running mate, Kaleb Joseph, and rock the classic Jordan’s. Hell, we did an exhaustive two minute search of the first page of results for “Nike basketball shoes” on Eastbay and couldn’t even find these bad boys. But either way, just take our word for it: orange, lavender, and baby blue don’t mix.
And shame on you, everyone else in the photo. Friends and teammates don’t let friends and teammates pick out kicks that are so loud they put Spinal Tap’s speakers to shame.