INDIANAPOLIS – After weeks of speculation, and with National Signing Day coming up, sources have confirmed that several high level NCAA FBS coaches are under investigation for failing to meet the unspoken rules regarding giving gifts to high school athletes. Numerous recruits have reported being shown a complete “lack of love, like, financially.”
Highly touted quarterback recruit Jimmy O’Houlihan is currently being looked at by numerous elite programs and is planning on revealing his choice on signing day, but has gone on record with the shocking news that multiple coaches have fallen well short of the expected level of gift giving.
“I’m a big-time athlete,” said O’Houlihan, who plans to major in family studies at whatever college he eventually attends. “I figure an athlete of my caliber should be pulling in at least six figures. It’s distressing that so many coaches are failing to understand that.”
In some cases, these unnamed coaches are attempting what some might consider devious methods of recruitment, including the offer of academic success and the prospect of earning college degrees. For players like O’Houlihan, though, these offers have been ringing hollow.
“I was on a visit last week, and the coach wouldn’t even speculate as to how many hundred dollar bills would fit in my backpack,” said the talented young signal caller. “He kept talking about the quality of education, and offered me a Diet Coke. Fool, I can get a real Coke and still sling it 70 yards on the fly. Let’s see that paper.”
By some accounts, this problem has extended beyond just collegiate football recruiting and has worked its way to basketball, as well. Fortunately, some coaches are reportedly refusing to get on board with the disturbing trend of short-changing young athletes. One college basketball coach – who asked to remain anonymous, because he doesn’t “view [himself] as a hero in need of the spotlight,” noted that in this day and age, anything less than a Mercedes S-Class is less than these recruits deserve.
“I would never be in the position I’m in, contending for national titles year after year, if not for recruiting gifts,” said the coach. “Tradition needs to be earned and is a difficult sell as a recruiting pitch. A shiny red car speaks for itself.”
For recruits like O’Houlihan, it’s more a matter of respect: respect for the player, and respect for the process.
“I had a coach come at me with a Toyota,” he said. “I mean, what does that say about the type of talent he thinks I am? I’m not a Division III player, coach.”
Calls to the NCAA were not immediately returned, as the national office was closed for its yearly Joe Paterno Day celebration.