Well this kind of came out of nowhere. About 15 minutes ago, I thought to myself, “well hey, I’m about to watch the NBA Draft. Maybe I should live blog my reactions for the 12 people who may read it?” And now, here I am. I’m ready to go. I’ve worked hard for years and years to get to this point, and I’m now on the clock.
Speaking of, so are the Minnesota Timberwolves as we kick off the draft at 7:34 p.m.
7:37 PM – As expected, Karl-Anthony Towns of Kentucky is the first pick by the Timberwolves. This seems like a good time to mention that my beer of choice tonight is from a local brewer, and it’s called, fittingly, “The Chosen One.” If you’re ever in north Texas, I highly recommend checking out the 903 Brewery.
Not really a big surprise that Towns was the top pick, and let’s be honest here – Minnesota is putting together a solid starting five. In retrospect they kind of fleeced the Cavs in the Kevin Love trade, because Andrew Wiggins is one of the best young talents in the league. This is a great pick for the Wolves.
7:40 PM – That said, I’m pretty sure Karl-Anthony’s suit is made out of Leisure Suit Larry’s love seat.
7:44 PM – Suddenly realizing most people probably don’t know who Leisure Suit Larry is.
7:45 PM – Somewhat surprisingly to everyone not named Jalen Rose, D’Angelo Russell is the pick for the Los Angeles Lakers, meaning Jahlil Okafor has dropped out of the top two. Russell rocking the red and grey suit for Ohio State. Really terrific guard who will take the reins from Kobe Bryant whenever he’s finally convinced that enough is enough.
7:47 PM – What a surprise that Jalen Rose loves an oversized lefty point guard from the Big Ten, by the way.
7:52 PM – Looks like the Sixers are taking Okafor, despite already having Nerlens Noel and Joel Embiid. It doesn’t matter, of course. Based on recent history, all three will get traded within the next 18 months anyway.
7:56 PM – In all seriousness, I’m not convinced Embiid will ever get fully healthy. And he and Noel are more similar than Okafor, who could be a dominant scoring power forward along side either one of those guys as a defensive minded center.
7:59 PM – The Knicks are on the clock and should probably take either Mudiay or Winslow, which means they’ll almost certainly take Kristaps Porzingis.
8:01 PM – Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
8:04 PM – Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
(In seriousness, stay classy, New York fans)
8:05 PM – No, Kristaps, it’s not you…
8:09 PM – And now the Magic take…Mario Hezonja? Okay. Sacramento and Denver are pretty stoked right now about Mudiay and Winslow dropping like rocks. When’s the last time a European lottery pick actually worked out?
8:11 PM – Okay, I should take back what I said about Hezonja. 6-foot-8, can shoot it, is athletic, can handle, compared to Chandler Parsons…they’re basically describing Tyler Lydon, who I’ve gone on record saying I think is an eventual, potential lottery pick. So you go, Mario. It’s your world and we’re all just Luigis in it.
8:13 PM – If you bet on Jerami Grant to be the first Syracuse player to be spotted during the draft, you win a prize!
Jerami Grant is here, BTW. Here to represent and to support big brother Jerian. pic.twitter.com/LvmzGForZl
— Donna Ditota (@DonnaDitota1) June 26, 2015
8:15 PM – You don’t actually win a prize. I’m sorry that I lied to you.
8:16 PM – Willie Cauley-Stein before Winslow and Mudiay?! Okay. Well, that’s…something. Anytime you can take a 7-footer who Jay Bilas just described as “an okay rebounder” who also can’t really score with the sixth overall pick ahead of potential franchise guys like Winslow and Mudiay, you have to do it. What a joke.
8:19 PM – Let’s go back to Kristaps for a moment…
"He has a great sense of American culture," a Kristaps Porzingis teammate told me. "He goes on WorldStarHipHop every day."
— Ben Cohen (@bzcohen) June 26, 2015
8:21 PM – Just got word that the reason the Kings picked Cauley-Stein is that Vlade Divac was trying to draft himself and, when told that wasn’t an option, got flustered and picked the first 7-footer he spotted.
8:22 PM – In the easiest pick of the night, the Nuggets select Emmanuel Mudiay, because apparently tall, athletic, talented point guards are a good thing. No one told the Kings, who apparently think that 7-footers who average six rebounds per game and can’t make a basket are all the rage.
8:24 PM – Chris McCullough is in the building!
— Donna Ditota (@DonnaDitota1) June 26, 2015
8:28 PM – Stanley Johnson is a talented player. It’s not what I’d call a bad pick by the Detroit Pistons at number eight at all. But holy crap, who did Justice Winslow kill that we haven’t heard about to be dropping like this? He’s about to fall into someone’s lap. Arguably the most talented all-around prospect in the draft and he’s getting dangerously close to falling out of the top 10.
8:32 PM – Ladies and gentlemen, Rakeem Christmas is your winner! Of everything! Especially coats!
— Donna Ditota (@DonnaDitota1) June 26, 2015
8:36 PM – I like Frank Kaminsky. I think he seems like a good dude, and I love the fact that he’s gone from basically being a no name recruit to a top 10 pick. But holy crap. How the hell has Justise Winslow fallen so far!? This seemed like a slam dunk pick for the Hornets.
8:39 PM – The Heat have three minutes left on the clock but they won’t need it. Already being reported that they’ll take Justise Winslow, who really probably should have been a top five selection.
8:48 PM – I’d just like to say that I find it really discouraging that Heisenberg is doing ads for Coors Light.
8:49 PM – Myles Turner to the Pacers. And with those glasses, and that haircut, he’s looking exactly like Skeeter from Muppet Babies, so he’s got that going for him.
8:51 PM – “Running in a straight line is not really his thing.” – Jay Bilas, on Myles Turner. Ringing endorsement.
8:52 PM – I mean, deep down we all kind of expect Utah to pick Sam Dekker here, right?
8:56 PM – Well, Utah didn’t take a white dude, but they took a Canadian. That’s basically the same thing. Trey Lyles gets picked up by the Jazz, and is the third Kentucky player taken in the lottery.
9:00 PM – Easy now, John Calipari. Did someone shit in his champagne glass? Pretty sure he’s going to fight someone before the night is over.
9:03 PM – Fourth Kentucky player taken in the lottery as Devin Booker goes to Phoenix with the 13th pick. Athletic shooter in Phoenix? Seems like a pretty natural fit.
9:08 PM – We were all thinking it…
Is John Calipari at the NBA draft to support his players or to augment his recruiting efforts with TV time? Just asking.
— Mike Waters (@MikeWatersSYR) June 26, 2015
9:10 PM – Oklahoma City caps off the lottery with the selection of Murray State Racer Cameron Payne, as everyone at the ESPN desk was just grateful for Adam Silver giving them a brief respite from hearing Jay Williams speak.
9:11 PM – I don’t know who that gentlemen in the crowd they just showed was (I assume he was Payne’s father) but he was wearing an ascot. I feel like this needs to be mentioned.
9:12 PM – Okay, with the lottery over I’m going to slow things down a little bit. Look for updates every couple picks, or if something truly stupid happens.
9:16 PM – Looks like Milwaukee just traded some picks to get Greivis Vasquez. This is meaningful for Syracuse fans because, well, what the hell happens to Tyler Ennis now? Or even Michael Carter-Williams since Vasquez plays basically the same role as a tall point guard?
We are inching closer to a TRADE at last. ESPN sources say Milwaukee is closing in on acquisition of Raptors guard Greivis Vasquez
— Marc Stein (@ESPNSteinLine) June 26, 2015
9:24 PM – So, Atlanta takes Kelly Oubre, who calls himself a jewel and guarantees a championship before being traded to the Wizards…and now Boston picks Terry Rozier!? Because anytime you have Avery Bradley and Marcus Smart in your backcourt and can take a 6-foot-2 scoring point guard who was probably borderline first round pick at number 16, you have to do it. Someone make sure Bill Simmons hasn’t started mainlining grain alcohol.
9:38 PM – Rashad Vaughn goes to Milwaukee, giving them yet another guard, and now Sam Dekker is headed to Houston. So in other words, the Rockets really missed Chandler Parsons and decided they needed a close facsimile. Dekker is their man.
9:45 PM – Jerian Grant gets picked by the Wizards but is on the move, obviously, since this pick is being traded to the Hawks. But apparently, Grant is being moved to Knicks. So now I’m trying to figure out what the hell is going on with this whole situation. Either way, our guy Jerami Grant just got a lot of face time when Jerian was on screen.
Tim Hardaway headed to Atlanta, Grant headed to New York, and Oubre to the Wizards.
9:53 PM – Delon Wright of Utah goes 20th to the Raptors, and up next, “Phil Jackson will tell us why he took Porzingis with the fourth pick.”
I’m guessing his answer will be, “Because I’m Phil goddamn Jackson.”
10:04 PM – Justin Anderson goes to the Mavs, which was pretty much expected down here in the Dallas area (although there was hope they’d snag Jerian Grant or even Tyus Jones, especially with Monta Ellis leaving town) and now the Bulls take Bobby Portis out of Arkansas with the 22nd pick. We’re getting closer to Chris McCullough and/or Rakeem Christmas range.
10:14 PM – Here’s all you need to know about Rondae Hollis-Jefferson’s pants after he was just taken with the 23rd pick: my mom, basically out of nowhere, sent me a text saying, simply, “Nice pants!!”
10:16 PM – “Rondae, tell me about your pants.” “I don’t know. All grace to God.”
So, that just happened.
10:18 PM – When does he get his free bowl of soup?
— NBA on ESPN (@ESPNNBA) June 25, 2015
10:22 PM – Tyus Jones to the Cavs. Not a bad pick, but curious since they have Kyrie Irving. Wonder if this means they plan on moving Kyrie – a scoring guard anyway – off the ball a lot more moving forward?
10:25 PM – Well, scratch that. Apparently, Tyus Jones is getting moved to Minnesota. Despite Cleveland’s best efforts, they were unable to trade with the Timberwolves for a do over of last year’s Wiggins/Love deal.
10:28 PM – San Antonio is annoyingly strong with how they replenish the roster. Danny Green is probably on his way to Dallas. RJ Hunter, a very, very intriguing shooting guard prospect, is still on the board. I think we can guess how this one’s going to go.
10:31 PM – Apparently San Antonio will take some 7-footer European dude whose name I will likely never be able to spell, so please enjoy this GIF of RJ Hunter’s dad Ron falling off his chair.
Nikola Milutinov. Apparently that’s his name, by the way. On to the 27th pick, just as soon as you’re done watching that Ron Hunter GIF.
10:38 PM – And the Lakers select Wyoming rebounder and NBA legacy Larry Nance, whose dad was, coincidentally, also named Larry Nance. Larry Nance Jr. was recently “drafted” by the Harlem Globetrotters as well, so he’ll have a tough choice to make in the next few days. Ahem.
10:40 PM – We have a Rakeem Christmas mention! Jay Williams just said that Christmas can hit the three…uhh. Okay, let’s pretend that didn’t happen. But hey, there ya go, Rakeem! Your name has officially been mentioned! Just by an idiot who seems to have suffered a head injury.
10:44 PM – Boston with one of the smartest picks of the first round. RJ Hunter, 6-foot-6, high basketball IQ, and can shoot the hell out of the ball. Plus, this:
10:46 PM – Newly minted “head coach designate” Mike Hopkins is in the house!
Mike Hopkins with sons Grant, 11, and Griff, 14. Here at NBA Draft. pic.twitter.com/rOV1egfXcR
— Donna Ditota (@DonnaDitota1) June 26, 2015
10:47 PM – And there you have it, folks. With the 29th pick of the 2015 NBA Draft…
The Brooklyn Nets will select Syracuse forward Chris McCullough with the No. 29 pick in the NBA Draft, league source tells Yahoo Sports.
— Adrian Wojnarowski (@WojVerticalNBA) June 26, 2015
10:51 PM – I think Chris McCullough could be a very good NBA player. 6-foot-9, athletic, good skill level. Just needs to add a lot of strength. He’s way too weak to compete physically right now. If he can add muscle, he could be a star.
10:53 PM – So we got that goin’ for us, which is nice…
— Matt Park (@MattPark1) June 26, 2015
10:55 PM – Kevon Looney goes to the Warriors with the final pick of the first round. We’re firmly in Rakeem Christmas range as we enter the second round. Fully expect to be him one of the first 5-6 names called.
11:07 PM – Some dude named Cedi Osman was the first pick of the second round. Picked up by Minnesota, but dealt to Cleveland as part of the Tyus Jones trade. I’ve got nothin’. He’s Turkish.
11:10 PM – Montrezl Harrell goesl tol thel Houstonl Rocketsl withl thel 32ndl pickl.
11:11 PM – Moving on…feels like 33rd to the Celtics is a possible Rakeem Christmas landing spot.
11:13 PM – Well, the Celtics took a big guy but it wasn’t Rakeem Christmas. Jordan Mickey becomes the second LSU player to be taken tonight. Christmas should still go soon, and I really hope it’s in these next few picks because guys, I’m gonna be honest, this live blog is done as soon as Rak gets taken because I’m not sure my spellcheck or attention span can handle the forthcoming onslaught of foreign names that are desperately in need of vowels.
11:16 PM – Well, this is clearly the best thing of the night:
Lakers drafted this guy. pic.twitter.com/q80OkUfJfe
— cool dud (@CCupsAndUp) June 26, 2015
11:19 PM – Philadelphia takes another center, this one earning “praise” from Fran Fraschilla that basically equates to, “Well, he’s not terrible, I guess.” You’re telling me that Pat Connaughton wouldn’t have made sense for the Sixers right there?
11:20 PM – NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Oh, wait. Whew. Rakeem Christmas selected by the Timberwolves, BUT the good news is he’s being traded to Cleveland. Dodged a bullet there. Good stuff. Congrats, Rakeem! Partly about being drafted and fulfilling your dream of making it to the NBA, but mostly congrats on avoiding going to the team where Syracuse basketball careers go to die.
11:23 PM – And with that, I’m signing off. We made it through 36 picks and, holy shit, like four straight hours of mostly pointless updates. At least at the end of the night I can safely say that of all the NBA Draft live blogs out there, this is certainly one of them.